Yearly Archives: 2019

When speaking about relationships, we often discuss what would make someone a good man or what would make them a good woman in terms of being a partner. I think what often goes overlooked, is the introspective aspect of building a solid foundation with someone, and what it really means to be “ready” for a relationship.

It doesn’t matter if you find the man or woman of your dreams if you’re not ready to have them in your life. It also brings about the possibility of the harsh truth that they may not be interested in you in return, if you’re not in the right place emotionally.

From psychological, spiritual and practical perspectives, it’s pretty clear that if you don’t love yourself, it’s harder to give and receive love. So, when you’re wondering “Am I ready for a relationship?” there are certain things to look out for.

First, make sure that your last relationship is fully over and done with – there’s no point in starting a new relationship if you are secretly hoping your ex-partner will take you back some day.

Second, make sure that you are not going to just use this new relationship as a way to get back at your ex.

Enough people have already been hurt as a result of your previous relationship; there’s no need to bring anyone else into the mix.

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And third, you need to ask yourself if this is what you really want. You are heartbroken, after all. A little time on your own might be just what the doctor ordered to help you feel better.

Here are some signs you’re ready for a relationship and you can be 100% sure you are fully ready to take on the responsibilities and rewards of a new partner.

1. You attract a like-minded partner.

When you’re in the energy of self-love and acceptance, it’s easy to magnetically attract a like-minded partner who not only loves himself/herself but is available, interested, and ready for healthy, happy, whole love.

2. You have a handle on your story.

Breakups come with a lot of baggage. Before you can start dating someone new, you need to make sure that you have your wits about you and what happened.

If you are still reeling from being jilted at the altar or being left suddenly by your ex-partner and you are still blaming them for your unhappiness, you are not ready to move on.

3. You complete yourself.

You know you’re ready for a relationship when you don’t need a relationship to feel happy and worthy, when you want a relationship to share your love rather than to get love, when loving yourself and sharing your love is more important to you than having control over getting love. When you want a relationship to deepen your growth rather than to fill your emptiness, you are ready.’

4. You know what you want for yourself.

In order to move on and find new love, you need to first figure out what you want from this life. Having a partner is not going to make you happy by itself.

You need to figure out what goals and aspirations you want for yourself and then set out to find someone who shares similar views and values.

5. You won’t settle for conditional love.

Men and women are ready for love when they realize they deserve to receive unconditional love from a partner.

6. There’s nothing “wrong” with you.

The only person who can complete you is… you. The way to do that is to realize that there is nothing wrong with you; you are not broken, you don’t need to be fixed. The truth of love is found in self-acceptance, and in shining the light of love on those dark places inside of us.

7. You can show up consistently for yourself and someone else.

It’s important to remember that there are two people in every relationship.

If you are not yet ready to make time for someone else or if you can’t show up for them in a way that makes them feel loved and needed, it’s not a good time to get involved with someone new.

8. You are willing to be open and honest and engage in intimate communication.

Every relationship has problems, but it’s important to work on yourself following the end of a relationship so that you don’t continue to experience those problems over and over again.

You need to be honest with yourself and your new partner about what you need and want.

9. You can accept people for who they are.

Being in a relationship means considering the needs and desires of someone else.

If you aren’t yet in a place where you can put someone else’s needs above your own, it’s not yet time to get into another relationship. Successful relationships are about give and take.

10. You don’t seek constant distraction.

You’re not afraid to be alone — and in silence, even. You like spending time alone and don’t need the television to be on or the phone to be glued to your head. You can be with just yourself.

11. You’re not waiting for someone else to “save” you.

One is ready to manifest healthy, lasting love when they truly abandon the wish that another can “save” or “heal” them. Self-acceptance and self-love are markers that one is fully ready for intimacy.

This state of being allows one to be open to both giving and receiving love in a pure, authentic way — unburdened by notions of healing wounds from the past.

12. You don’t need someone to make life more interesting.

Before you get into another relationship, remember that adding someone to the mix is not going to make you happy.

If anything, it may cause more drama and upset in your life. Once you are happy being on your own, you’ll be ready to take someone into your life again.

13. You aren’t depending on someone to make you happy.

It’s nobody’s fault how you feel right now, whether that is good or bad.

Until you realize that your partner is not responsible for your happiness and it is not their job to make you happy, despite what you might have been previously told and choose to believe, it’s not.

Find ways to make yourself happy first and then a relationship will be the icing on the cake.

14. You honor your bigger “self.”

When you understand who you are — as a human, in relation to God or your spirituality — and when you are able to consider the “other” without compromising or obsessing about “me,” you are setting yourself up to live a healthy, beautiful relationship.

15. You’ve tossed your list.

People are ready for love when they don’t have a rigid set of expectations and a laundry list of must-haves and deal breakers. They simply want to find someone wonderful to love and share their life with.

16. You’re OK being single.

If you can say “I am OK without a relationship,” then you’re ready for one! You’re OK being single — not in a resigned or defeated way. It’s more about one have a deep knowing of who you are, your purpose and that while you desire love, you won’t allow yourself to be miserable while you’re single.

17. You’ve called off the search.

The old adage is true: the person who is most ready for love is she who has stopped actively pursuing it. Instead, she has been concentrating on developing her own skills, passions, and happiness. A confident, grounded and interesting person is extremely appealing.

18. You like your life the way it is right now.

There’s nothing better than meeting someone who has their act together. It’s hard to imagine taking on a new relationship when you don’t have your life the way you want it.

Work on yourself for a while before you bring someone else into the picture. It just makes it harder for you to focus on what you need.

19. A relationship is a want, not a need.

Someone is ready for love when they want it but don’t need it. That’s the absolute best place to be: wanting a relationship, believing it would be great, but not needing it for your happiness. Being truly happy without it is often the fastest way to bring it about.

20. You smile a lot.

Notice the next time you see your reflection. No matter what you might be wearing or if it is a good hair day or not, is the reflection you catch a glimpse of is one that makes you smile?

When you catch yourself smiling more than making comments, excuses, or judgment, then you know you accept yourself unconditionally — and are ready to do the same for another, too.

21. You own your energy.

You know that you’re a vibrational match for your real-deal Beloved when you move through your day with access to your own orgasmic energy, whether or not you have a partner. You are sourcing it from within.

Yes, the Beloved will be irresistibly attracted to your beauty, fragrance, and nectar but you are the magnificent blossom.

22. You’re over your last relationship.

Look for signs that anger and resentment are gone and that they have forgiven not only their ex-partner, but themselves. To be angry at yourself is a clear sign that you are not ready to move forward.

If you cannot accept where you are and who you are right now, then it’s time to make a change. You will know that you are ready to go out there and date again when you have given up your “story” and can think about your ex with neutrality, compassion, and understanding.

23. You’re willing to take a risk.

A person who is ready for true intimacy is aware of the risks and uncertainty that comes with falling in love. She knows that the relationship will grow and evolve to something wonderful — or it won’t.

Either way, this person understands she will be better for it since the love and support she has for herself will always be there.

24. You have empathy.

One quality I work hard to promote in patients looking to find and/or sustain a loving relationship is empathy. Once a person can see beyond her desires and needs to what it will take to make her partner happy, she is well on her way to going from “me” to “we.”

25. You’re self-confident.

Self-confidence is the key to knowing that you’re ready for love (it’s also the most powerful aphrodisiac). When you take pride in yourself and you are clear about your own worth — that is when you’ll be able to attract someone who honors you and himself in a healthy relationship.

26. You feel whole.

If you are looking for your partner to fill an emptiness within yourself, you will always remain unsatisfied. True love is all about accepting both your partner and yourself wholeheartedly. Dating is about finding your complimentary match, not your other half.

27. You’re open-minded.

You know you’re ready when you can go off your dating script and discovering a romantic interest as though you were visiting an exotic country for the first time. Throw away your checklist, let yourself be in the moment and open up to the joys and challenges a relationship brings.

28. Fear doesn’t own you.

One sign that tells me you are ready for love is when you show courage. When you are open to taking emotional risk, including accepting personal responsibility, love is in your future.

29. You build memories, not walls.

I know someone is ready for love when they incorporate their match into their life after a few dates, rather than compartmentalizing dating activities. Building memories, not walls, shows long-term potential.

30. You are not a puppet.

The one sign that tells me a person is ready for a healthy relationship is when he or she takes a stand for what she wants in a relationship — without being attached to the other person’s response.

31. You accept change and are ready to grow.

You are “ready” for love when you accept yourself for who you are, right now, today, but are still committed to exploring the yet undiscovered growth of yourself individually and in a relationship.

32. You know your turn-ons.

When you know what turns you on, what brings you pleasure and you aren’t afraid to go after it, it’s a good sign you’re ready to share love with someone else. The key to this is honoring that you are deserving of pleasure whether you are with someone or not and recognizing that all types of sensual pleasure — the foods you eat, the smells around you, a cool shower on a hot day — keep you vibrant and alive.

33. You’re comfortable in your own skin.

Embracing yourself inside and out is a sign you’re reading to fully embrace another.

34. You aren’t bringing any baggage to the relationship.

Before you commit to another relationship, make sure you are not going to blame this person for your previous missteps in other relationships.

Whether it was your fault or not that your last relationship ended, your new partner shouldn’t have to pay the price related to any of that.