Being single is not so bad.
Divorce or any breakup can be a crushing blow to life, but it can never fully destroy hope, faith and the ability to move on again. Divorce is pretty widespread and experts believe that most marriages do fail. Perhaps you’re still single and are jokingly considered a spinster. Well, you’re not alone. More women are deciding to remain single despite the threat of isolation. According to author Whitney Caudill, “Feeling loneliness or fear from time to time as a single person is normal. In fact, it is normal for everyone.” Staying single doesn’t have to be a prison sentence, author Sara Eckel explained: “It is simply a life – a life with responsibilities and rewards, good days and bad ones, successes and failures.” Like with anything in life, there are the pros and cons. For the sake of argument here, we will look at the 7 reasons why it’s a good idea to remain single.
1. We Remain True to Ourselves
While we’re in a relationship we may start to lose a part of ourselves because our priorities shift more towards our mates. There is nothing amiss with this because we need to reinvest in our partner. However, focusing solely on the relationship, you are missing out on personal goals and what God may have for you. Jesus warned us to “store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” When we start idolizing relationships, we may miss what God is saying to us because we’re extremely focused on the other person and possibly to a fault. When this occurs we lose a piece of ourselves and what we’ve been called to do in life. This leads to resentment towards the other person as well. We can bypass the entanglement of this if we fly solo.
2. It Helps You Find the Right Person
We have heard that all things work together for our good, even when it seems that we will never walk down the aisle. Instead of focusing on the frustration, shift your thoughts to strategizing a different approach by being hopeful. When needed, write your emotions down. This a remarkable way to vent and to let go of tension and anxiety when you feel empty. “Often women over thirty start to panic because they get concerned they’ll be too old to have children. But this mindset can make you feel desperate and propel you to marry someone who is wrong for you,” life coach Terry Gaspard wrote. Proverbs 27:17 explained, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Those who are closest to us are the ones who can either help bring us closer to God or pull us farther away. A solid person will help you grow. In this case remaining single could be a good choice instead of dating the wrong person out of fear.
3. It Can Help You Regain Confidence
After you’ve been married or have been in a relationship for some time, you may have lost your confidence. This is especially true if the relationship was toxic. Are you more cynical than you were before the relationship? If so, this is a red flag that your confidence has taken a hit. “If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice,” the Mayo Clinic reported. Choose the path of truth today by speaking life into your darkness and power over the given situation. Find things that you are good at and build the foundation from there. Just because you lost your confidence, doesn’t mean you need to lose your hope for a better tomorrow.
4. It Will Help Your Faith
Use this time to become spiritually stronger. Start to saturate your mind with God’s Word and know that you are His masterpiece and that the Kingdom is within you. Ephesians 2:10 will remind you of this fact: “For we are God’s masterpiece, created to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Start reading the Bible and join a prayer group to find support and to re-establish your faith. When you are single, you will have more time to spend on maturing your spiritual life, which will last longer than any relationship! Willpower alone might not be enough. Ask God for His power to maintain discipline and to pursue Him again.
5. It Will Allow Healing
Relationships can do a lot of damage if they are not healthy. What happens is you become more mistrusting of people. You may need to start the process of healing in this area and you can do it more adequately if you’re single. Healing from the past will also make you stronger and help you open up to love again if that’s what is desired. Yet, this rebuilding of trust will help you in all of your relationships. Talk to a therapist and find the root cause of your mistrust and allow yourself to find the path towards healing. This is a time where you don’t have to rush and can really become whole because you’re dealing with emotional wounds and not putting a BAND-AID on it.
6. It Makes You Stronger
Author Poorna Bell explained there is a stigma about being single today and how it’s not healthy. She refutes this false narrative. “There is a problem, a serious cultural problem, about solitude. Being alone in our present society raises an important question about identity and well-being.” People in relationships can also feel a sense of solitude as well! Being content can happen when you’re single or with someone. It’s a matter of being emotionally equipped and being able to ride out those lonelier times, which can attack anyone no matter who they are. Once you can do this, the stronger you will become on your own.
7. It Will Give You Freedom
Withstanding the social pressures of being in a relationship can be tough, but it also opens up doors for you to do other things. Start painting, adopt a dog, start playing recreational sports or start traveling to places that you always wanted to go. Engaging in a hobby is healthy and will help you meet other people. Look at registering for workshops to sharpen your skill set. Think about taking classes to learn the arts like sculpting or even taking an acting class for an outlet. Whatever you choose, find something where you can experience creativity and the freedom to express yourself again.
We commend you for embracing your singleness. Be it by choice or not, there are many things that you can do to enjoy this season. You can find healing, joy, hope and try new things to improve your quality of life overall. Being single doesn’t need to be a dim road for you, the path can be a new beginning towards a brighter life if you’re determined to keep the light on.
Written By: By Corine Gatti
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