Dating isn’t what it used to be…
There was a time when dating was simple. You could be straightforward without fear of being rejected or misunderstood. Relationships were less complicated and convoluted. But maintaining a healthy relationship in today’s highly digital and secular age is more difficult than it has ever been. Rules and habits have changed. So many people are scared of commitment and being official that they’ll remain in a label-free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested. “
We’re just talking” is a phrase that opens the door for cheating that technically wasn’t cheating because you weren’t together . Here are six ways modern dating is killing real love. Unfortunately, we all have to deal with these ugly truths. together
1. We settle too quickly.
Most of us know that we shouldn’t settle for less than we deserve in a relationship. Yet, after a prolonged period of dating dry spells or straight up relationship failures, many of us feel like we’re doomed to a life of being forever alone and settle for those who aren’t God’s match for us. We end of in romantic relationships or marriages that are just not right but we’re not willing to risk ending it. There was a time when people valued courtship, really getting to know each other and valuing the person they were spending their time with, but that isn’t always the case today. When we settle too quickly, we often convince ourselves that things will change or that we’ve done something wrong to deserve less than optimal treatment but this sort of thought process kills real love. The fear of being single or of being in a failed relationship shouldn’t cause of us
2. Relationships lack communication.
In modern dating, poor communication kills relationships. In today’s digital age, we are more comfortable communicating through text messages than we are face-to-face and when something is hurting the person we’re talking too, we don’t always respond to their situation like we really care. Our emotional languages can be tricky, we’re not always the best listeners, we send confusing texts and we even hesitate to make the first move. All of these things not only lead to a major lack of clarity, but also hinder our ability to truly love someone. Healthy, loving relationships thrive on good communication.
3. We play things too cool.
In modern dating, it’s hard to tell how a person really feels about you because everyone is focused on playing it cool and not looking too pressed. A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing and are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Unfortunately, it’s extremely hard to decipher between the two. The lines should not be fuzzy. When someone is in love with you, there is no confusion when it comes to interest and intentions. They want you to know how much you mean to them so that your heart will gravitate towards them and not end up with anyone else.
4. We hook up and don’t commit.
We live in a hookup culture that accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters, including one-night stands and activities which focus on physical pleasure without emotional bonding or long-term commitment. These relationships are consumed by lust as opposed to true love and commitment. When we come into a relationship with selfish goals, we objectify our partner and are no longer enrolled in connecting with a person on an emotional and soul level. We can’t find true love when we approach our relationships this way. If we continue this pattern in our dating lives, we will continue to feel empty.
5. Marriage isn’t always a primary focus.
When it comes to dating in the modern world, the intentions for many are very different than they were in the past. People used to date because they were interested in being in a relationship, getting married and finding a life partner. But today, people don’t necessarily date because they want to be in a long-term relationship. Many date because they want to test the waters. This can really blur the relationship lines. Dating just for the sake of dating devalues marriage and is harming our relationship culture.
6. Talking may lead you nowhere.
In the world of modern dating, you can date someone for months, even spend more time together than a married couple, but when it comes down to defining the relationship, you’re only talking to the person, not truly in a relationship with the person. This not only opens the space for major confusion, but also opens the floor for cheating. In this dating scenario, one person may be on one page about the relationship, and another person may be on a completely different one. A committed relationship requires two people to be intentional about making things work. If you’re in a relationship and you feel like it’s not going anywhere, you may be stuck in a modern dating trap.
We can’t ignore these modern dating truths no matter how much we want to. However, we can push back at these truths by not falling victim to them. Align yourself with people who value marriage and desire true love. If you don’t keep these six things in mind and guard your heart, you will be more vulnerable to these traps.
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