By: Michele Pillar

Do you relish the past or despise it? Both can be dangerous.

For years, I beat myself up for the colossal mistakes I made as a young Christian. In college, I was loving and serving God, enjoying the independence that comes from trusting Him for my every move. I loved Jesus more than anything in the whole wide world. I was productive and wanted for nothing. Things in my life seemed in order.

I was singing on the early Maranatha! Praise albums and about to record solo albums for Sparrow. Then, BAM! I married a man without asking God about it! I knew it was a mistake, moments too late. Later I’d understand more about the enemy’s tricks. The marriage ended in divorce. It became a shroud of shame I wore for decades.

We all make mistakes, especially early on when we are still carrying around brokenness from the life we lived before we met Christ. Salvation is instantaneous; restoration takes a lifetime. The day we fully grasp this truth, is the day we stop beating ourselves up and ask God to restore what’s been stolen, no matter what it takes.

As I travel this county, spending time with women at my Clothesline Conferences, I see restoration is often a silent, lonely journey. I believe God has better for us. Ancient baggage shouldn’t be carried and certainly not lifted alone. Women are ready to get on with it and figure out how to do it without feeling too exposed.

If we see our pasts as God sees them, we will understand why the rearview mirror is 98% smaller than the windshield. It can’t be our focus. It’s doesn’t guide our way. It’s only there as a gentle teacher and to remind us what to avoid.

When I was sixteen I’d drive down the 405 Freeway in California while putting on mascara. Sometimes, I even cranked the mirror toward my face to get a closer look! We’ve all done it! Time taught us the danger of it.

That’s what happens when we think things like, “it’s too late”. We lose focus on our sacred lives. Let’s not lose sand in the hourglass! You have never been more useful than you are today. You are not too old or too young. You have survived so much. You have given ‘til it hurts. You’ve been forgiven and your heart is soft. If it weren’t, you wouldn’t be reading this. You own a level of grace and patience you didn’t before. You are a seeker and that’s all you need to get where God wants to take you. But you may need to lighten your load and ditch the rearview mirror.

Your next journey is not dependent on anyone or anything but God.  It’s doesn’t matter who your mother or father was,  your education, who you married, or if you’re divorced.  All that matters is that right now, you realize that if you are looking backward to find answers, you are looking in the wrong direction.

If you feel “labeled” remember only to wear one, “I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine.” (Song of Solomon 6:3)

Your years have served you well. God is still in control. You made Him Lord. He took you seriously. Give God permission to be the Lord of the past and then make Him the Lord of your future. It’s time to look up, look forward and get going! He’s waited long enough… so have you.


Michele Pillar Quote from Book Untangled - Why god wants you to let go of the past

Click here to learn more about Michele Pillar’s new book, Untangled.

Click here to visit Michele’s website.

Become friends with Michele on Facebook.


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